About Breanna Hayse: I’m a native Californian gone ‘wild’, and had the opportunity to travel the globe and discover the world through the eyes. Breanna Hayse has 91 books on Goodreads with ratings. Breanna Hayse’s most popular book is The Game Plan (The Game Plan #1). 13 quotes from Breanna Hayse: ‘Of course it hurts, it’s a spanking. How else would it work?’, ‘You so need a Daddy, little girl.’, and ‘I knew instantly that I wanted.
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With all the ‘Daddy’ books being written in the name of ‘age-play,’ few truly represent this amazing dynamic of the BDSM lifestyle. I’m not only a lifestyler, but a certified sexologist and an alternative lifestyle therapist. What is the Vibe of this AMA? What is AMA Vibe?
Of course- I was young, cared about what people thought, and was afraid of backlash. That changed very quickly when I started researching my breahna and then began writing. People deserve the opportunity to learn the difference between reality and fantasy so that those who are interested in the dynamic can make informed decisions.
The admission also allowed me to be more approachable. As an author- I’m writing about a real lifestyle- where real people are involved in a real community and experience real problems just like anyone else.
I’m also living proof that the misconceptions of what a submissive might be are brreanna false- I’m well educated, independent, and a professional in the community. What I’m not is weak, subservient, or anyone’s doormat, nor am I ashamed or embarrassed by who I am.
If one lives in the shadows, the truth eventually comes out and I chose to have my truth be told on brreanna terms. By being straight forward and having nothing to hide, I eliminated any fear of being ‘outted’ and removed all rbeanna from anyone we all have haters- especially in this industry who considered using my lifestyle to hurt me.
It’s no different than when a celebrity comes out hasye being LGBT and uses the truth to teach people tolerance, safety, etc. One must always consider the pros and cons when it comes to exposure, and understand that the possibility exists of being hurt more by not being truthful.
Just because it’s right for brranna, doesn’t make it right for everyone. There are some states with ‘morality’ clauses that can cost people their jobs if someone complains. California is not one of them. Yeah, I get a little flack born out of ignorance, fear, or prejudice, but I embrace that opportunity to teach the truth. I can’t make anyone accept it- but at least I gave them something to haysee on, right?
That’s a very good question and a subject I addressed earlier- safety. ANY scene, under an inexperienced hand, can be breannw. Without accountability and education, someone will eventually be hurt- but getting people to accept that reality is not so simple.
No- I do not ‘make up’ scenes. I do not involve any edge-play without making it perfectly clear that the characters are trained, accountable and responsible. I am also very careful that the characters ‘discuss’ scenes in their story to emphasize that they are SSC safe, sane, consensual and leave no room for misinterpretation. I’m a very strong advocate for education in the lifestyle- as both a participate and hasye therapist. It’s breanha I have seen people try to recreate scenes and things went horribly wrong, that I do my best to communicate responsibility to other authors regarding what they write.
This include how they present themselves on their blogs, etc. It’s breanma NOT to live the lifestyle and write about it, just do your homework and understand that you’re representing a community and people’s lives, yanno? Yes, being a switch is real but it’s a big topic of debate in the OG community.
There are some that call switches ‘confused’ hyase even those who go as far as to say it’s impossible. Then again, these are the same individuals who say that same thing about Trannies and pan-genders.
I do understand their confusion because the roles in the community itself are well-defined and, during gatherings, you know who is what. Switching is all dependent upon the individual i. If given a choice, I would always remain in my submissive.
It’s who I am naturally and I don’t try to deny it. They are the only one’s who get that part of me- and it tends to be more of a ‘Mommy-Domme’ situation. I disapprove of things being practiced in the breannq of BDSM that are not an actual or representation of our community. This include the rape culture where rape is glorified and supported and we are seeing it in haysf books labeled BDSMthe cheering on of domestic violence i.
Anything that places a Bottom in danger is something I cannot, bayse will I, support. Those who are performing such acts are the same who yell the loudest at an OG who intervenes in behalf of a sub’s brewnna. John who was a dungeon monitor and I the Club’s safety and medical officer were approached by a Club member who was being beaten by her husband in the name of BDSM.
She wanted our help to stop the abuse which often left her homebound for several days and having to hide her face in public to avoid whispers.
John was verbally attacked and accused of interfering with the guy’s marriage. I think the only reason the jerk didn’t take a swing at John breznna because everyone in the Club knew he has a black belt in Kempo!
The Club placed the husband on probation, but that didn’t stop what was happening at home. It wasn’t until his wife was hospitalized with several broken bones and internal damage that hase charges were brought against him by her treating physician. The man screamed about this as well, claiming it invaded his rights- but California Mandatory Reporting requires a health care provider to make a report if they provide medical services to a patient whom they suspect is suffering from a physical injury due to assaultive or abusive conduct.
Breqnna Club rallied around the woman in opposition to her husband’s claims and dozens of statements beanna witnessing events were given to the police.
The abuser beat up his wife in the name of BDSM, but it was those who honored and respected the lifestyle who ultimately stepped in and perhaps even saved the life of a battered spouse.
OMG, there’ve been so many, even ones that took me by surprise. But there was one question that had a profound impact on branna and it came from a coworker. She wasn’t mean about it at all- but was confused.
She wanted to know how an intelligent, independent, and confident woman could be so gullible as to let some man command her entire life while beating her. I then informed her the look on her face was priceless that I don’t get beaten, I get spanked, and because of that, I live in a relationship where we never fight or put each other down, where we don’t compete to be the top dog and use that time to enjoy one another.
I’m not gullible, I’m blessed to have found a man who loves me to infinity and beyond, and who I love and respect in return. Many of the BDSM clubs I’m associated with have introduced edge-play under a supervised environment with active safety measures. I don’t know how many of these claims are true since I’ve only seen nayse on line and never in any clubs nor has it come across in any uayse our therapy sessions. Not as much as I used to, but it can get pretty nasty.
The funniest thing is that the majority of comments have come from vanillas reviewing my books! I figured if it bothered them enough to call me names and get ugly, then it made enough of an impact that it will stick with them for a while, lol. My primary purpose of being so public is to educate. I’ve had several female coworkers at the psych unit who were shocked when brsanna discovered I was a submissive I don’t think they would have been so surprised if I were a dominant.
They accused me of taking the women’s lib movement back years, breannx abuse, and encouraging violence. I took it as an opportunity to challenge their ignorance. Some listened, others didn’t. People are going to discriminate and attack what they don’t understand or can’t control.
It’s based on fear and ignorance. My hayss to anyone facing such is stay calm, pleasant, and ask the attacker questions and gently educate.
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Some do and I typically refer them to my husband out of respect for him and our marriage. You never know breahna is on the other side of the email and I’ve had some individuals who’ve overstepped boundaries. Two examples of crossing boundaries hxyse those who think they can boss me around and disregard “I’m a sub, but I’m not YOUR sub”. Another experience I’ve had are those who are please pardon the term mental masturbators and approach me with inappropriate and disrespectful comments and discriptions.
Just because I’m involved in the lifestyle doesn’t make me a slut. John and I have jointly spoken with male readers and there are a few who Hayee known personally and will speak with with John’s approvalbut I exercise safety and put my marriage and my husband first.
I addressed this below in another question.
It did open the door for many of us to talk to vanillas about our books, so I have to give E. James props for that. The portrayal was not only inaccurate and unresearched, but it communicated that Grey was broken and needed to be healed.
That, alone, left a bad taste in the mouth of those in the lifestyle. BDSM isn’t about having a playroom filled with toys. It isn’t about keeping a harem of subs that are tossed away once the Dom gets bored. It isn’t even about sex. It’s a psychology that blossoms into a specific type of physical interaction and evolves over time as the partners grow to know and trust each other.
James did the community a disservice by failing to research the lifestyle- had she done that, she could have made a strong impact on how the vanilla world views us. We aren’t about whips and chains, we aren’t about lording over someone and making them grovel at our feet. Am I saying there aren’t those in the community who act that way? But they are often the rogues who refuse accountability or who, in actuality are not Dominants, but Sadists.
One doesn’t have to be in involved in BDSM to be a sadist, either. I don’t think James ever anticipated the impact her books would have on our community, or that they would introduce the ‘Shaders’, the new generation ‘BDSMers’ who use her books as their bible and whose mimicry has caused irreparable damage to the pretend-Anas.
Books by Breanna Hayse (Author of The Game Plan)
I would also hope that, if she had the foresite to see how she misrepresented our community, she would have done some research and sought to portray the lifestyle and relationships with more respect and understanding. This is a lesson to ALL authors who write about a specific lifestyle or culture- do your homework. That’s one of those questions that can have a response that’s either simplistic or complex. BDSM is an interest that most people involved are naturally drawn towards.
It’s not about wanting to hurt, or be hurt, aggressive behavior, or as in 50SOG someone is broken and goes in that direction. It’s about exploring a level of intimacy. The answers were as numerous as the people I interviewed and observed. I remember one man asking me- how do you know if you would like chocolate?